Productivity Tips: How to Overcome Fear, Needing to Please Everyone, and Imposter Syndrome
Is fear killing your productivity?
Have you ever been held back from creating something because you were worried someone may not like it? I know I have.
Here’s a tip for overcoming that fear. I call it the math of trolls, it’s based on the idea that someone is 100% guaranteed to not like what you create. Consider the criticism of the following well-known authors and musicians. Regardless of how well received a song, album, or book is by their intended audience, it always receives negative feedback.
Some examples include:
Walden, the literary American classic by Henry David Thoreau exploring nature and its simplicity, harmony, and beauty, currently has 124 one-star reviews on Amazon. Including this particularly harsh feedback:
“What a blowhard.”
“What a yawn!”
“Tough read, it was extremely boring.”
“I was not impressed.”
“…the book is crap.”
“I was bored to death.”
“Hated it.”
“Boring.”
The Beatles receive equally harsh feedback for their classic album, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, named the number one album of all time by the Rolling Stone.
“I just don't get why anybody likes this album!”
“Most of the songs are worthless, stupid, and dull.”
“Incredibly mundane.”
“Not only is it a bad album, it is also a boring one.”
“CRAP!!!!!!!”
Thriller, the top-grossing album of all-time by Michal Jackson receives the following feedback:
“This album is overrated.”
“With the exception of ‘Billie Jean’ the album is a dud.”
“Nothing special.”
Led Zeppelin sold over 23 million copies of Led Zeppelin IV, and receives these remarks:
“I can't believe people think this is good music.”
“One of the worst bands of the 70's.”
“This album represents the musicians attempting a level of art they weren't capable of reaching, and the results are spectacularly crass and mindless.”
Dr. Dre’s debut album, The Chronic, which is widely regarded as one of the most well-produced hip-hop albums of all time received the following critiques:
“This album sucks!”
“One of the worst albums & rappers ever.”
“The worst CD that I have ever heard in my life.”
I understand the lyrics of The Chronic could offend listeners, and that may be why reviewers feel adamant about sharing their negative feeling towards it. But that doesn’t explain the negative reaction to this YouTube version of Patti Griffin’s song Heavenly Day (it’s basically an ode to relaxing and lyrically one of the least offensive songs I could find). Thirty viewers have publicly thumbed it down. I understand some people may not like this style of music (and they are certainly entitled to an opinion) but it seems like a stretch to publicly want to show distaste for it.
My point is, and this is something I reinforce daily with clients: Prior to beginning the creative process for your project (regardless if it’s a song, book, app, painting, starting a restaurant, building a business, or anything else) establish who it’s for and declare it’s not for everyone. Understand before you start working there is a 100% chance someone will not appreciate it. No matter how brilliant or prolific, your work will be criticized and disliked.
Initially, this seems scary or at least concerning and can paralyze the creative process. But what if you use it to do the opposite?
Could you use it:
As fuel to do your most creative work by ensuring you don’t dull it down to satisfy the masses?
To ensure you focus on creating something special that will particularly resonate with your target audience?
To ease the blow when your first critical feedback is received? (After all, you expected it. It was part of the plan. You saw it coming.)
Everyone’s not going to like what you make. Make it anyway.
Seeking an outside perspective occasionally is helpful but a constant need for approval is harmful in many ways. Leading you to not achieve your goals or reach your potential.
The benefits of “letting go” from what other people think can have a significant impact on your personal and professional life.
Here are a few reasons to worry less about what other people think of you or your work.
Seeking permission and waiting for approval slows you down.
Every moment you spend searching for approval or trying to gain permission is a moment you are not working, building, and completing the work you want to do. It’s holding you back from your ambitions, goals, and desire to make an impact.
Your self-worth needs to be tied to something more stable.
You can’t count on the opinions of others to make you happy. People’s beliefs, likes and dislikes change frequently. Humans are emotional and to measure your ideas by another person’s opinion is to tie yourself to the randomness of how someone may be feeling when you ask for their perspective.
You are looking for self-acceptance.
The reason we want approval is to confirm that we are on the right path, doing the right thing, and acting the right way. But only you can convince yourself of that. Empty approval from your boss, clients, friends, or parents won’t lead to the peace of mind you’re looking for.
People have different goals.
Be careful of the opinions of people who have significantly different desires than you do. Also, keep in mind, what you are looking to achieve may be very different from the people whom you are seeking an opinion from.
The people we respect and admire aren’t approval seekers.
Think of someone you admire. Why are you attracted to them? Likely, it’s because they’re presenting something that is true to themselves. They didn’t get that way by appeasing everyone they met.
It’s freeing.
When you let go of the compulsion to seek approval from others you will be free to do your best work without worrying what other people will think of it.
Remember, everyone’s not going to like what you make, that’s the way it is. I would encourage you to make it anyway.
Now is the time to unleash your full potential
Let this year be the year you learn to tackle those obstacles that have built up over the past year.
Learn more about how productivity coaching can transform your productivity here.
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